Good question. The wife and I went to marriage counseling and both felt it dind’t do jacksh!t to help us. I sat there the whole time thinking, “This guy got a divorce. How can he save my marriage if he couldn’t save his own??”
That being said, if you want to work it out and can’t, a good counselor could help. Make sure you’re both comfortable with the counselor, try a few to find the one who seems best. You don’t have to go with the first one who comes along.
It depends if both persons are honest and really want it. In my case, I went twice, the first time my husband was mad because I was honest and said something. We only went three times. Three years later I went to counseling by myself since I wasn’t happy and I really didn’t want it anymore but said well let me try then had him come. He went first time by himself. Then he went with me and wasn’t happy since I figure if I’m going we have to be honest. The second time together he walked out of session. Still together but ready to go. So it varies. Good luck
If he doesn’t know what he wants in life, are you referring to his marriage or his job? If it’s his job, then he might want to go to individual counseling first, then bring you in, if necessary. But if he’s questioning your marriage, by all means, go. My husband and I went years ago and though it did bring up hurtful things, we were always closer at the end of each session. We’d have a thing where we’d go to In & Out Burges after talking to our counselor and we’d think about what we talked about. If he’s suggesting the counseling, then it shows he cares. I’d take him up on it. Good luck.
Marriage counseling is great. It works as long as you find a counselor you are comfortable with that you can connect to and if you and your partner are ready to start making changes. You have to start somewhere, you can’t go in there and expect the marital counselor to know what bothers you two, what you have trouble with and what you want to work on. So ppl who keep this in mind, I believe, have real success opposed to ppl who just walk in and say “fix it”.
It is problematic. You have to be willing to let it work. If yo are just going to argue that the counselor don’t know anything, it is a colossal waste of time
Depends on what you BOTH want from life….as well as the counselor’s expertise. Never say never. Be open to all avenues of resolution, before you make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. Be sure of who YOU are, and what you want to accomplish. And hope that your mate discovers who he is, and wants, as well.
Q: How many marriage counselors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it really has to want to change.
The moral of this story: It works if you work it. If at least one of the couple is not willing to put out some effort and try new methods, it won’t work.
With a good counselor and both of you being honest, yes it can work. If either of you don’t feel a connection of openess with your counselor after a couple of sessions, you may want to look for another counselor, sometimes personalities of patient and counselors do not click making it difficult for both. If your marriage is in trouble and your are dedicated to saving it what could counselor hurt. Give it a shot if your both serious.
Every situation is different but marriage counseling in most cases is a waste of time and money. There are always things that one person wants to say but won’t in front of the spouse (I have been thinking about cheating, my wife doesn’t turn me on any more, etc…) and offen one of the parties begins to feel like the counselor is siding with the other.
Individual counseling with the spouse joining in occasionally is much better.
Well it didn’t work for me but I think it was because I didn’t really want it to but it did work for my best friend so I think it depends on the people that go and if you both really want it to work
It can work. Both parties have to be open to ultimately solving any problems that may exist in the marriage. Your husband will have to want to leave no stone unturned to get to the bottom of why he feels as he does. Without that perseverance it can not and will not “work”. Be prepared at the end of the day for the marriage to be over. Prepare yourself just in case.
My experience did not help . I think you pay someone to fix your problems, but in reality the best people to do that are you and your spouse. It is all communication, or lack there of. My marriage was going downhill fast. My daughter was due in three months (married for 7 years) and my husband walked out of his Dr’s office and told me in the car that he had just been diagnosed with a life threatening disease. Six months later we sat in front of a counselor and ran things down to her. I crap you not, she started crying and apologized and handed us her pastor’s card and suggested my husband talk to him. We lasted two more years and upon deciding to divorce (he was being really nasty towards me, not coming home…….) he finally told me that his behavior had nothing to do with the disease; he was angry at me for wanting to have a child. He felt that he should have been enough for me. He never would have admitted that to the counselor. Well, nonetheless, communicating with your husband is FREE!!!
Yes! yes and yes! if you want it to. If he proposed counseling he’s more likely to actively participate. And a good counselor is worth every cent. (don’t settle for a bad one, keep looking for one that fits you both)
it’s a great start, keep an open mind, and - good luck
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Good question. The wife and I went to marriage counseling and both felt it dind’t do jacksh!t to help us. I sat there the whole time thinking, “This guy got a divorce. How can he save my marriage if he couldn’t save his own??”
That being said, if you want to work it out and can’t, a good counselor could help. Make sure you’re both comfortable with the counselor, try a few to find the one who seems best. You don’t have to go with the first one who comes along.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Personally , i don’t think it works.. A person can only make changes by themselves.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
If a person wants to change, they can change on their own. It just has to be in a person to do it.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
It depends if both persons are honest and really want it. In my case, I went twice, the first time my husband was mad because I was honest and said something. We only went three times. Three years later I went to counseling by myself since I wasn’t happy and I really didn’t want it anymore but said well let me try then had him come. He went first time by himself. Then he went with me and wasn’t happy since I figure if I’m going we have to be honest. The second time together he walked out of session. Still together but ready to go. So it varies. Good luck
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
If he doesn’t know what he wants in life, are you referring to his marriage or his job? If it’s his job, then he might want to go to individual counseling first, then bring you in, if necessary. But if he’s questioning your marriage, by all means, go. My husband and I went years ago and though it did bring up hurtful things, we were always closer at the end of each session. We’d have a thing where we’d go to In & Out Burges after talking to our counselor and we’d think about what we talked about. If he’s suggesting the counseling, then it shows he cares. I’d take him up on it. Good luck.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Marriage counseling is great. It works as long as you find a counselor you are comfortable with that you can connect to and if you and your partner are ready to start making changes. You have to start somewhere, you can’t go in there and expect the marital counselor to know what bothers you two, what you have trouble with and what you want to work on. So ppl who keep this in mind, I believe, have real success opposed to ppl who just walk in and say “fix it”.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
It is problematic. You have to be willing to let it work. If yo are just going to argue that the counselor don’t know anything, it is a colossal waste of time
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Not if he isn’t sure of what he wants in life!
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Depends on what you BOTH want from life….as well as the counselor’s expertise. Never say never. Be open to all avenues of resolution, before you make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. Be sure of who YOU are, and what you want to accomplish. And hope that your mate discovers who he is, and wants, as well.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Q: How many marriage counselors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it really has to want to change.
The moral of this story: It works if you work it. If at least one of the couple is not willing to put out some effort and try new methods, it won’t work.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
With a good counselor and both of you being honest, yes it can work. If either of you don’t feel a connection of openess with your counselor after a couple of sessions, you may want to look for another counselor, sometimes personalities of patient and counselors do not click making it difficult for both. If your marriage is in trouble and your are dedicated to saving it what could counselor hurt. Give it a shot if your both serious.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Every situation is different but marriage counseling in most cases is a waste of time and money. There are always things that one person wants to say but won’t in front of the spouse (I have been thinking about cheating, my wife doesn’t turn me on any more, etc…) and offen one of the parties begins to feel like the counselor is siding with the other.
Individual counseling with the spouse joining in occasionally is much better.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Well it didn’t work for me but I think it was because I didn’t really want it to but it did work for my best friend so I think it depends on the people that go and if you both really want it to work
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
My friend once told me that a relationship will work as good as the person least committed.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
It can work. Both parties have to be open to ultimately solving any problems that may exist in the marriage. Your husband will have to want to leave no stone unturned to get to the bottom of why he feels as he does. Without that perseverance it can not and will not “work”. Be prepared at the end of the day for the marriage to be over. Prepare yourself just in case.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Tried it, but it helped zero. I divorced him anyways because the damage was done. I think it is a crock of poop.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
My experience did not help . I think you pay someone to fix your problems, but in reality the best people to do that are you and your spouse. It is all communication, or lack there of. My marriage was going downhill fast. My daughter was due in three months (married for 7 years) and my husband walked out of his Dr’s office and told me in the car that he had just been diagnosed with a life threatening disease. Six months later we sat in front of a counselor and ran things down to her. I crap you not, she started crying and apologized and handed us her pastor’s card and suggested my husband talk to him. We lasted two more years and upon deciding to divorce (he was being really nasty towards me, not coming home…….) he finally told me that his behavior had nothing to do with the disease; he was angry at me for wanting to have a child. He felt that he should have been enough for me. He never would have admitted that to the counselor. Well, nonetheless, communicating with your husband is FREE!!!
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
You will get out of it what you put into it. It can work, but not if you both aren’t open, honest and actually trying.
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Yes! yes and yes! if you want it to. If he proposed counseling he’s more likely to actively participate. And a good counselor is worth every cent. (don’t settle for a bad one, keep looking for one that fits you both)
it’s a great start, keep an open mind, and - good luck
December 10th, 2009 at 9:00 am
It only works when both spouses are 100% committed to making it work.