anybody had any bad experience with marriage counselors and actually felt worse after the session? now i don’t have anything against counseling, I just want to know your experience you had with them? experiences only!
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anybody had any bad experience with marriage counselors and actually felt worse after the session? now i don’t have anything against counseling, I just want to know your experience you had with them? experiences only!
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Yes. I went to marriage counseling, and we actually had a worse relationship after our sessions. We fired our therapist, and 2 years later we are still married, but hate each other.lol
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
I have spoken to many people hwo have had counceling. I have concluded that a good preface is that if I were to agree to go to counceling, I’m not saying I promise to stay in the marriage, I am saying I am willing to try so long as my partner realizes that it may end anyway
I think too many people think that going to a marraige councelor means that a person will stay in it until we are ready to let go.
I don’t think anyone should go with the idea it means the marriage will survive. It may be a way to find a more civil closure.
Divorce has to remain one of the options at all times.
I don’t think we have to go to counceling to find a way to forgive an affair or abuse or any other deal breaker.
counceling doesn’t mean you have to make it work.
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
i went with my husband to counseling, and the counselor repeated every session that he needs to stop drinking and if he is unable to then he needs to go to rehab. He never stopped drinking, not even one night did he forgo alcohol for the sake of what the counselor suggested… what a waste of time.
Couples counseling helps if both parties are willing to listen and be open… but most of what the counselor says will be plain old common sense.
Where I found real benefit from the counselor, was when we started focusing on personal experiences and past history, once the counselor started delving into my past and my past with a father who was an alcoholic was when I started analyzing my co-dependency and need to be with another alcoholic.
so I guess in other words, the counselor didn’t help us as a couple as much as he helped me with my own issues.
and honestly, I think thats what it really should be all about… people usually face problems in relationships because of their own issues, those issues are either a. not being dealt with or b. your own issues are being pushed onto your current relationship
counseling can be very beneficial, but you have to be open to explore your own issues and feelings before you can concentrate on fixing your relationship, and same for the spouse… be willing to listen and support if they are having issues with themselves.
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
It was a positive experience. There were times when I felt worse because until I said the words of what I was feeling and hearing what he was, I had no idea the dynamics of the words being said out loud. It gave me a better understanding of where he was coming from and likewise. If there is enough left in the relationship to salvage, then well worth your time, tears and money well spent.
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Yes we have had counseling. I was prepared for the worst when the counseling session was drawing to an end…because we had just told the counselor all our problems….when we were leaving the session…my husband told me he loved me, and we both decided that we gave our problems over to the counselor to deal with….and try to move on together with a clean slate. At the next session the counselor thought our idea was a great one…because usually couples fight after a session (opening old wounds)…she said it’s best to air the problems during the sessions…and only then. When new problems arise…air them at your next session…it worked for us….because we were so over arguing…yes we still fight, but hey, we are a work in progress just like everyone else!!
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Yes, and it doesn’t work if both people aren’t answering the questions and volunteering information that the counselor is asking for.(my ex refused to talk to her about things, got us nowhere).
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Yes I and my husband use to go to a marriage counseling and it makes our marriage worse because we will fight during the session until we get home.
It was not a good experience for me and i don’t think i wanna go back.
December 11th, 2009 at 9:01 am
eh? sometimes it is a good thing. it helps my wife to see how much of a nag she is