Yest I asked my husband a question and it turned into a big fight. All in all it ended with him sleeping on the couch and watchin Family Guy. Its the 4th time in a week its happened. He says sleepin on the couch punishes him too (I dont see how). So I brought up marriage counseling and we are talking about going but hes gotta call since I dont know when hes busiest during work. Does marriage counseling really work? Did it work for you?
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December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
A counselor is a mediator that is trained to that. They shouldn’t let things get pass with out being resolved. You know the problems before you ever make that phone call. If you can apply a working knowledge to your troubled marriage that would be a start. It’s just hard to keep pettiness out of the mix. Good luck I could never get my wife to go to one
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Marriage counselling, or couple counselling, is not for everyone but it has proven helpful to many. Before embarking on counselling, the reason for going, should be clear and agreed upon. It should include both wanting to get things back on track. If only one heart is in it, it is highly unlikely to work. For those who are experiencing difficulty in getting their life back together after separation for example, counselling can greatly assist in the healing process. Often people feel very alone, lost and psychologically empty. Their lives are turned upside down and they don’t know where to start in order to re gain some normality in their life. Counselling has definite advantages to many people who seek it for many different reasons. If there are problems within the marriage at least its a good place to start. You can try it and see if its for you. It is also important that you find someone you feel comfortable with. The more experienced the counsellor, the more you will probably benefit.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
It only works if you want it to. You guys have to be brutally honest with the therapist. And some people aren’t willing to do that!! But if your not open and honest, it will not work. The other thing you have to be capable of is admitting when you’ve done something wrong. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge is broken. So just be prepared to be open and honest and things should be fine. But if your not willing to be open and honest and admit when you have been wrong, the NO it’s not going to work. It’s up to you two to fix things. Not really the therapist. He or she is just there to quide you through it.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Remember counseling is just a tool. They act as a neutral mediator when two people can’t work out their own problems. It can be a great tool when both people are going into counseling with the same objective. It will mean disaster if just one of you are going in with the wrong attitude. What are some wrong attitudes?
1. I don’t think this will work. This is stupid.
2. I am going in here so I can get the counselor to tell him/her they are wrong.
3. I am going into counseling to blame the other person.
4. I don’t think the marriage will work anyway.
You have to go in with the attitude that you want to help figure out what the problem is. It’s not easy when the counselor starts to uncover deep stuff. If your hubby is the type to shut down or walk away everytime there is conflict the counselor will address that and he has to be willing to confront the issues.
Counseling is a tool..Remember that. So you still have to be able to work things out yourselves with the tools the counselor gives you.
I went through 3 types of counseling and still ended up in divorce, why?
1. Husband was resistent and sat there with an attitude in all three types.
2. Husband looked at it as a way to point the finger at me.
3. We didn’t do the exercises learned in counseling once we left so at home it was business as usual.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
it depends. i believe it helped us. in our case we were talking, but we werent understanding or hearing one another. you know sometimes a person can say something and you take it one way when they mean it another. sometimes you are saying the words but they arent connecting. i would say if your problems are largely communications problems, therapy can provide a controlled, moderated place to work things out. if your issues are more of a compatibility issue, maybe not as much.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Most marriage counselors have evening appointments available. My ex insisted, he quit after three visits and I continued. I learned quite a bit about myself and how I effected the marriage. I was the one that was betrayed and the counseling helped me quickly see it wasn’t me that broke the marriage. He had a belt notching ego thing.
It can’t hurt.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
i tried it 3 times and i am now divorced so there is your answer…NO. if u dont see sleeping on the couch a punishment then the next time yall fight, you sleep on the couch then. its like punishing a dog for pooping in the house. pop him on the nose then throw him outside. same concept. just try it.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
If you both want it to work it CAN.
Just make sure you don’t have some jerk off that’s more interested in taking your money cuz he has a car payment to make as a counselor.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
sometimes, but you both have to be willing to resolve it. marrige is a balance and there has to be an equal amount of support on each one.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
I don’t think it will work for him. Sounds like you married an over grown child.