I was considering going with my husband but I’m a little afraid to. Has anyone here ever been? And do they just try to blame one person on the martial prolbems or are they completely unbiased? Because I have a bad feeling they will try to blame me even though it’s not completely my fault what’s going on. Do they talk to the couple individually or just togehter? Does anyone know please give me some insite on what to expect.
3 Responses
Leave a Comment
February 5th, 2010 at 9:00 am
It is your choice if you want individual counselling and usually it is a good idea to begin with. It allows the counsellor to get your individual ideas on what you think the problems are in your marriage. If the marriage is really damaged then I suggest individual counselling is best and then when both of you are ready, you can come together with couples counselling. A good counsellor is totally unbiased….they do not take sides. A good counsellor will listen and will guide, but their main role is to empower you to come to your own conclusions. She/he will help you work on stragies to improve your marriage. In some cases a counsellor may suggest that unless both of you are willing to compromise then you may as well separate. Both of you need to be willing to be totally honest and both of your being prepared to work on your problems. Counselling is not about blame….far from it. A good counsellor wants to make both couples realise that it takes two to tango. A good counsellor will make it easier for one spouse to understand where the other one is coming from. A counsellor will probably talk about what attracted you to each other in the first place and try to bring it back to when you first met….then work towards when the problems started. If you both love each other, if you both want your marriage to survive, then counselling can help you have a better marriage. Choose your counsellors well though, there are some dodgy ones out there. You need to feel comfortable with your counsellor, otherwise you will feel intimidated and will not be open to total honesty. A good counsellor is there to make things better, not to blame, not to take sides….they are totally unbiased. This can change though if you are in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship. If your husband physically or emotionally abuses you then couples counselling straight off wont work. You need individual counselling. If you are in a physical or emotionally abusive relationship then a marriage counsellor would probably not be much help. If that is the situation then a counsellor who is experienced in abusive relationships will probably be able to help you better. Whatever the case, counselling will help your situation. Good luck with this
February 5th, 2010 at 9:00 am
If you get a good counsel, there is no blame at all. They just try to work on a compromise that will work for both parties. What every you are fighting about they try to find a happy medium where it will make you both happy. I have gone to joint counseling when we are having concerns in our marriage and it always helps. We talk separate and together with the counselor. It just helps to get through any rough spots you have in your marriage just like going to the doctor for medical issues. I highly recommend it! GOOD LUCK!
February 5th, 2010 at 9:00 am
I have bad news. Alot depends on who you go to on how they do it. Usually they do both individual and joint sessions. I have heard stories about blame being set on one or the other but have also heard the opposite. If you feel you need it, and church isn’t an option, you may try it. You don’t have to continue with that therapist or even with therapy if you aren’t happy with how it is going.
Good luck!