My husband and I have just reconciled after a separation and we plan to start marriage counseling next week.
I came home from work yesterday and said hello and he said he was busy and not to interrupt him. I said hello to the dog instead and he said I was making too much noise and he needed to finish looking at the bills.
A few minutes later he apologized and offered to make coffee. We have puppies in the kitchen so I asked if he would look in on them. He said I was rude and bossy for asking that. We almost argued.
Later that night we started playing a game. I talked to the dog again and he said I was making noise during his turn and common courtesy is to be quiet. Then he said to stop looking at him because common courtesy is not to stare.
I got very pissed off and told him I am not his robot or his child that he can dictate around and I went to bed.
Today he says I blew this out of proportion. I said he is the one with no common courtesy but he is blaming me and this is why we separated to begin with. I accused him that he is selfish and controlling.
Now he is acting very hurt and that is pissing me off even more.
Can Marriage Counseling Actually Help This Marriage?
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July 13th, 2010 at 8:59 am
You don’t give enough information here. There are clearly marital issues. I won’t go into them, because you’ve only presented half of the story here. From what you’ve written, he seems very temperamental. However, as I said, that’s only half the story. We don’t know what his is, or what his view of the situation is, or what he’s going through lately. From the sound of this, it sounds like he could have been doing the bills, and been very upset all night over some sort of financial issues. Who knows. But the important thing is DO THE TWO OF YOU WANT IT TO WORK? Are you willing to put the effort into it? Are you willing to try your hardest? Etc. The issues you’re describing here don’t sound like major ones, to be blunt. I reconcile couples after infidelity, and that’s one of the most major issues out there (behind abuse, addictions, etc.). Couples can overcome the hardest of issues, if they both WANT it and both WORK for it. On the flip side, couples can still divorce over even minor issue if they just don’t have it in them or just don’t want to put the effort into it. So that’s up to you guys. Are you willing to put effort into this? Is he? Going to counseling together in a good indication that you’re both willing to work it out. However, sometimes people feel pressured to go to counseling, and don’t really mentally or emotionally put the effort into it. So there’s not enough information here to say. Basically, marriage counseling CAN help, but will the two of you LET it help you? Good luck.
Well, I think you’re expecting marriage counseling to me a magic cure. It’s not. If you’re still having doubts about wanting to reconcile or not, it’s not a good sign. You’ve got to be 100% committed to it. As for him, from what you said, he does appear to be that way. However, people act certain ways for certain reasons. Why does he? Is he interested in changing at all? Why is he going to marriage counseling with you? I mean, to put it simply, if a marriage isn’t working, something needs to change. Is he willing to change? Are you? It’s a lot of factors, but if both people want it and are willing to work at it, it’s got a good shot.
July 13th, 2010 at 8:59 am
It can only help if you both WANT the marriage to work and your both WILLING to CHANGE.
July 13th, 2010 at 8:59 am
He sounds like a real douche. Are you sure you want to reconcile?!?!?