Married 16 years. I am ready for separation but my husband suggested counseling. I agreed and we have our first appointment today. what to expect and does it really work?
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Married 16 years. I am ready for separation but my husband suggested counseling. I agreed and we have our first appointment today. what to expect and does it really work?
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
If you both try it can work. It doesnt hurt to keep trying before calling it quits, exspecially after all this time. Also consider taking he love dare. google it and you will find the book about it, it saved my marriage and my sex life is great now!
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
It’s not a magic pill. There is work involved on your part and your husband’s part. Change is going to be required and you know that it’s not going to be easy to break old habits and get out of our comfort zones. Are you willing to try and deal with the pain of having to change? Do you still love your husband? My husband went to counseling with his ex. The counselor said that his ex was the problem but she didn’t see it that way. Everone else but her was the problem. She thought the counselor was picking on her. She did not want to change.
It worked out great for me because I love my husband and can’t imagine life without him at this point. I would do anything for him.
We went to a marriage check up where we met with a doctoral student in psychology. There is always room for improvement. It’s hard to break habits. It really takes commitment and determination. You have to give yourself a break - time to adjust.
It can work but it seems unlikely to work for most people because it’s so hard - so much is required. I think we are overtaxed in general with all of the other obligations.
The counselor will ask you questions - probably have you discuss things with each other to see how it goes - interject when necessary. He or she will offer solutions or advice on what you can do to correct the problems you are having.
It won’t happen overnight to say the least.
Jaylen’s Mom - That is so wonderful! I’m so happy for you. I have to say after the marriage check up, my husband and I were a lot closer. We’re close already but even more so.
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
yes it really works but i would suggest a bishop or pastor, but if not any will work. expect to cry and to find a deeper love for that person. on the 1st day it is mainly trying to get backgrounds on you all and figuring out why you are here. But it does get better.
It is really what you make it!
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Yes in some cases it does work. But it’s really up to both of you. If you think there is hope in your marriage try it. There is other programs you & him can try as well. If you have a local church, go & see what things you & him can do to improve. Most of the time it’s free. My husband & I were separated for 9 mths. It was hell, him & I lost Communication w/ one & other. Thought for sure that it was over. I started looking for things to get help!!! I knew in my heart there was hope. Try looking @ this site & read what this program ia all about. Hopefully there is 1 near where you live. Good Luck & don’t give up so easy!! It takes 2 to get married & it take 2 to work it out & yes it take 2 to get in what ever situation your in now!! Don’t point figures @ each other you did this you did that!! Wish you both well in what ever choices you will make!!
ps he is now living back home for the past 3 mths & we are looking @ each other in a better way w/ patients & communicating better!!!♥
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
remember, it took you two 16 years to get to where you are, it will not be fixed overnight. You must be willing to be honest without hurting, and to listen to his feelings as well. You will get out of it what you put into it.
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
It can work if you are willing to give it 100%
If you go into it half heartedly chances are you are wasting your time - but if you still want your marriage to work you just might have a chance.
Good luck
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
everything you say today, he’ll hold it against you for the next 2 years during the divorce process.
if i were you, i’d keep my mouth shut and stare at the clock.
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
it only works if both of you want it to work.
if only one of you wants it to work then it won’t work.
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
It works if you’re both open and honest with yourselves and eachother. Be ready to admit to your own faults and not just point fingers at his.
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
it only works if you want it to work. i suggest you try and work it out. why not? i wish you luck
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
It works if both people try and want to salvage a future relationship of some sort.
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
you will only get out what you put in if you want to be together it will work if you have already made up your mind to leave it will not work
June 25th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Nope, once it hits that point it’s all over.