My fiancée and I are going to our first counseling session later today. Our hope is that it will enable us to overcome some issues that are preventing us from having better intimate experiences with each other. This was my idea. Has anyone reading this made great strides in their relationship that they never dreamed possible due to counseling? My fiancée feels that it there is always going to be a problem in life and that I’m reaching for a perfect relationship. Something that is unobtainable. She open to going, but she has more of a pessimistic attitude than I. I feel that if you’re in a relationship that you may as well give it 100% and make it the best experience possible or your wasting your time and your partner’s time. The counseling will be fairly expensive, but I feel that we are worth it. Am I reaching for perfection? , How effective is couples / marriage counseling?
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July 25th, 2009 at 8:58 am
It worked wonders for me, but we went after 20 years of marriage.
I have to say, if your fiance is resistant, you might consider making it a LONG engagement. Yes, there are always issues in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you allow them to fester or deny that they are problems. If she’s not willing to invest time in getting outside help on your problems, I’d see that as a big red flag.
Best of luck.
July 25th, 2009 at 8:58 am
My husband and I had to go to counseling about 2 years ago because we had major issues and we had just gotten married about a year before that. Counseling did help us very much in our communication. I think it is excellent that you guys are taking that step before you get married. And look through your employer to see if they pay for any couseling. I work for the goverment here and they pay for the counseling. So definitly go and air out all of your issues and let your partner know that no relationship will ever be 100% perfect.
July 25th, 2009 at 8:58 am
It didn’t work for me and my first wife. Of course she was a insanely jealous, insecure, neurotic, soul-eating demon from hell that slept with half the men in Houston and the last thing on Earth I wanted to do was to stay married to her…….
July 25th, 2009 at 8:58 am
I found marriage counseling to be immensely helpful if for no other reason that it provided a neutral, third-person perspective on the relationship and offered fresh ideas for how to fix the wall we had run into. Sometimes all you need it a little nudge from an outside source to see your relationship in a completely new light.
July 25th, 2009 at 8:58 am
The important thing here is first she is open to going. Many people would opt out of counseling and deny there are any problems or issues. She may be pssimistic however she is giving it a chance. It is always helpful to get feedback from a non judgemental person who is not bias. Remember counseling can only give you tools and resources to help but it is always up to the person to choose to use them. Good luck.