I am turning 17 in August. My boyfriend is turning 17 in July. We’ve been together for 3 years & 4 months. Totally in love with each other. He has a great job…and is going to be a welder…so..we will be ok on money and all that stuff. BUT the problem is….my mom is totally freaked out about me and him. I barely see him twice a month. And when we hang out…she flips! His parents are totally understanding and treats us like mature adults…which we have both been raised as. The topic of marriage came up last night because it would totally make both of our lives easier…to be able to be together without my parents flipping out. My boyfriend has made a promise to hisfamily…especially to his dad…..that he is going to take care of me…and that he is a man…and will do whatever it takes to support and be with me…. BUT…I was wondering if any of you have any advice for me?
P.S.- We will be moving to Az after I turn 18 cause I graduate when I am 17.
I Am Considering Underage Marriage…advice?
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July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Hon, I got married when I was 17 and although we loved each other, it was so hard. At your age, marriage is such a large commitment to rush into…I know you love him…and I honestly believe you do, but why rush the matter? At least wait until you both turn 18, what would it hurt to wait one extra year? If you both love each other, the year will fly by? This is why I say this, I know you have been dating for three years, but marriage brings on a whole different set of rules….Now you will be living with that person 24/7…there may be little things that each of you do that the other has no idea about….and those pet peeves can break a marriage in shreds if you are not prepared. Also, even though he has a good job lined up, being married brings the stress of paying the bills, going to work, dealing with the real world…you will even find that when you get married you will even spend less time together….because of all the responsibilites that go along with being a married couple. I know this is not the answer you are looking for, and I understand, I have been in your shoes, but I know now, from experience, I wish I would have just waited a little longer. I had no idea what I was really getting myself into…..
But out of this whole answer, I do wish you the best and I wish you the best of luck with your decsion in the end. And no matter what, if you get married now…or two years down the road…..always have an open mind, never go to bed or leave the house angry…and remember forgiveness is giving up all hope that you can somehow change your past.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Listen to your mom. You are too young to get marry and to fully understand about love at your age - you have not experience life yet. Everyone of my classmates that married at your age was divorced just a few years later. Go out and experience life before you get married.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Wait until you are 18. YOUR parents are right! And as a parent myself, and a person that married young, I would be suspicious of HIS parents. You may feel and you may act like adults, but YOU ARE NOT ADULTS! And, if you are having sex, you are both breaking the law! Don’t rush things, you have plenty of time sweetheart!
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
You should wait. 17 is really young to be getting married, plus you need your parents permission. If you really are in love with each other you can wait until you’re 18. If you sneak and do it before hand, your parents can have it annulled.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Sorry but I think 17 is way too young to get married. You haven’t even begun to live your life to be tied down at such a young age! What are you going to do? Are you going on to University or work? What does the future hold in store for you? How do you know that the marriage will even last? You should think carefully before getting hitched.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Well, the first problem I see is that if your mom is against it, she’s probably not going to sign your marriage license. Second thing is: I don’t know anyone who got married before they were 19 who actually had a lasting marriage. I would wait at least until you’re old enough to sign your own marriage license.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
wow i can understand where you are coming from but at the same time you parents are right, you might be completly in love with him but at the same time you never know what the future holds, you dont want to know what life is? sometimes things dont work out for the best and if they dont your going to get married and if you two do seperate then your not going to know how to suport yourself. who knows you might end up together im just saying its nice to have a back up plan incase… my parents married at a young age and shes been with him for such a long time (25 20 years) and she was always dependant on him, now hes different in and out of jail and such. my mom wants to leave him but she doesnt know how she has been saving up for two years now and she still is to get out. so maybe just consider your future. if you do decide to get married im glad!!! and good for you.. but if you decide to take your time and maybe wait till you get a little older to marry then ill also respect that and id say you were a wise girl!
ps, i live in arizona! its hot al the time down here lol
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
I THINK GETTING MARRIED WILL BE THE BEST FOR YOU TWO. You guys will be able to see eachother more often, and be able to enjoy being together…..Plus 3 years if pretty good, and well nobody can come between your or his decision, not even your mom…She is going to have to accept it sooner or later, he is your happiness, and you his. Getting married will mean a great deal to both of you guys, and if the love and relationship stays strong, then you guys can last forever….
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Don’t do it yet. Wait until you are 20. Then if you still feel this way then do it. First get yourselves set.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
all you need is your parents permission + he needs his
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Well, in many states you will not be allowed to get married without your parents’ permission until you are 18. Plus, I hate to tell you, teen marriages have a higher failure rate. However, look at most of our grandparents/great grandparents who got married at 17, 18 or 19 and stayed together forever. I met my husband when I was 17. We got married at 19 (I was pregnant) and were divorced at 27. My sister and her husband started dating when she was 15. They got married when she was 21. They are still together and she will be 44 this year! I guess what I’m trying to say is that with true love and a STRONG COMMITMENT, your marriage will last forever whether you get married at 17 or 27.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
well if you’re only seeing him 2 times a month, i dont think that you should make such a big commitment. i’d wait until you spend more time with him and get to know him A LOT better
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
The law is in place for a reason. You should wait. It is less than a year.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Please, dont do it. It will be the worst mistake of your lilfe. Right now you have a lot in common, but will you in a few years? Atleast go to college first, then if you truely are in love, get married after college! If you really are in love, you will be able to wait, and it wont die.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
I don’t think its a good idea to marry when both of you are so young. Life gets even tougher after marriage. Believe me.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:59 am
Girl I hope and pray you’re making the right choice! Sorry I can’t give you any advice,I just hope you make the right choice!!